Forgiving does not erase the bitter past…


Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.

Lewis B. Smedes

4 thoughts on “Forgiving does not erase the bitter past…

  1. I like “A healed memory is not a deleted memory”. I agree that forgivness does not mean you forget.
    Once you have been wronged by someone or even yourself you cannot pretend it did not happen. But you can decide not to punsish yourself or the other person. You can decide to be kind to the guilty party despite the wrong doing especially if the guilty party is yourself. You can accept the fact that you have been hurt and that it may take a while to heal but you can decide to focus on yourself , your own happiness, your own Joy, instead of any feelings of anger or revenge. This is what forgivness is. Accepting that you have been hurt and deciding not to react with revenge or dwell on negative feelings toward the person who hurt you but to instead treat that person with kindness and respect . Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a decision to respond positiviley even if it takes a while for your feelings to catch up with your actions. Don’t let negativity, anger, revenge stand in the way of your Joy. Learn to forgive, especially when the person needing forgivness is yourself.

  2. In my post ( Let go, Let God, I talk about how being unforgiving is a distraction from your own happiness. As long as we resent, these emotional criminals affect our lives. I don’t think anyone who hurts me deserves that type of control. I’ve noticed that people hurt you to see just how much they can harm you, to see if they can find out which buttons to push to engrave their negativity on your heart and leave fingerprints on your soul. I vowed to refuse to give them contact with my heart and soul.

  3. valerie johnson

    Its funny.. Nichole and I was talking about this the other day and we were saying how as much as you may forgive.. some thing s you just can’t forget is forever etched in your mind and as much as we may try to forgive their trespasses some things just aren’t going to be forgiving–the only thing you can do is move on fron it,. not hold it against yourself for not forgiving and contnue on your way and if it comes up in thought..shrug, brush your shoulders off once again and keep moving forward.

    To me Dee some things just can not be forgiven and shouldn’t have to be . To me it seems one would keep trying over and over to come to the point of completley forgving someone and it may never happen..oh well. Some people don’t seserve my forgivness I’ll save that honor for those who do.

    • Don’t worry, I edited that comment for you;-)

      And yes, it may take a lifetime trying to let go of something. Maybe. But I can’t see why it would, because that to me means that the person is either sitting and reliving, in their minds, a past situation, so much so that it remains fresh, or the don’t trust that everything will be o.k….that’s sort of like someone sitting around and allowing cancer to eat them alive, when there is a cure. The person that makes a decision to keep hurt fresh in their hearts is the one that suffers, not the one that induces that pain, and I can’t think of anyone in this world I owe that type of control.

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