Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
I guess you can call this blog a sassy spin off and personal shout out to Byron Katie‘s “Loving What Is“. Don’t worry if you don’t know who she is, or what the book is about. Don’t even worry that this blog may not be relevant to your life–I can all but promise it is. Read on:-) Many times we think happiness is only something we read about or watch on Sex In the City (or Entourage for the fellas). When you think of happiness, even in the time of trouble, heartache and heartbreak, do you think it’s attainable? Do you know how to even get to happy, if it’s your destination?
This is not a book review, per se. I will say this about what Katie calls “The Work”: it’s a simple concept. The concept of “The Work” is the most effective, down to earth approach to self-help and overall happiness that I have ever encountered; it changed my life, and my style of coaching, forever. More importantly, it changed my mind.
It CHANGED MY MIND.
That’s a phrase that we hear often, right? Imagine this: you got accepted to a prestigious university, your parents throw you a big party and send you off. Lo-and-behold, by sophomore year, you are a drama major and contemplating running off to L.A. to pursue your dreams. Mother asks, “well, what happened?” And while a ton of things happened (you couldn’t focus, didn’t want to study, had anxiety attacks and couldn’t even pick up the heavy pre-law book that you paid $200.00 for), the most accurate and honest answer you can come up with is,
“Mom, I CHANGED MY MIND“.
Not a scholar? Well, here’s another example: for two weeks you planned on going to see the latest installment of your favorite movie. It’s a trillogy. Everytime you see the trailer or pass a billboard about your movie, you do a little dance in your seat and the corners of your mouth turn up. You don’t even care that it’s opening night and the crowd is going to be outrageous! You hate crowds, but you love the movie. You’re even brushing off your best friend’s dinner party–at least for two hours. You can’t wait! But! The day of your movie, you pull out your credit card to make your online ticket purchase, when a text message from your bestie comes through: “thx in advance 4 gracing me w/ur presence 2nite. truth be told, if it were only u n me, the celebration would still b the same.” You remember how you friend has been there for you for 15 years hell and high water, and how she never missed any of your events. Even your failed yard-sale. Yes, there’s some guilt. You put down your credit card, mentally pick out the outfit that you’re wearing to dinner, and deciede to see the movie, with your best friend the next day. What happened? Why didn’t you go see the movie?
“YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND“.
I noticed, through reading “Loving What Is”, evaluating my life, and coaching and listening to others, that we don’t realize the power that we have over our own situations. Either we don’t realize, or think that it’s too much responsibility, so we blame others for our own unhappiness. It’s a harsh reality that no one can make you unhappy but yourself. Was that a frown? Don’t worry, if you take heed to this blog, you will be smiling a lot more, so I don’t feel bad for that one (although it wasn’t my fault, lol).
Take a few seconds to think about it. I’ll wait. How many times did you change your mind about something in your life? If you’re watching TV and change your mind about what you were watching, what do you do? Do you turn the channel or do you sit there a prisoner of a rerun? OR shoes! You get all fancy for the a big event, put on your shoes and–wait, the black ones would go better–and they’re more comfortable! So what comes next? You change your shoes, right? I bet you can come up with a thousands of examples of times that you changed your mind and then changed your way. What is that you say? Your boyfriend said he liked the red shoes better–OR your girlfriend likes you in cowboy boots, so you left them on? Well then, you changed your mind from caring more about your own opinion than your lover’s. Either way, your thought brought about the action (or inaction).
I hope you’re getting the concept and the importance of changing your mind. Simply put, the first step to changing your life, is changing your mind. Looking for someone to come along and save you from all of your pain, stress, fatigue–Superman or Wonder-woman? I’ve got news for you–trust me when I tell you that I know from living and loving daily, that happiness is in your mind. Waiting for a superhero? Get up, go to the closest mirror–SMILE SEXY/BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME/SPIRITUAL/POWERFUL, THERE’S A SUPERHERO RIGHT THERE STARING BACK AT YOU!”