Embracing The Itch: Why Tattoos Are Like a Broken Heart

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Why the heck do tattoos have to hurt so bad? “Well Genius, ” I bet you are saying, “you’re getting a bunch of needles, duh!” But hey, listen, it’s not just the tattooing part. It’s finding a way to sleep comfortably by not putting pressure on the part that now pains you, it’s showering and not accidentally letting hot water hit it directly, its people slapping you on your arm not knowing that you are aching. And then,  finally, there’s the annoying itch that lets you know that you are healing.  There’s this entire healing process that you go through, and while some handle it better than others, but healing is a must and it happens if you’re healthy.

So, I got this tattoo last week. A pretty bird to memorialize a friend, “Bubby”,  that I lost on Christmas Eve, last year. See? Continue reading

Resistance: The incomparable bully

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Part of the Get Free, Get Happy Series…

“What you resist will persist”…

What does that mean to you? From my experience, it means having my priorities all discombobulated.  It means being so caught up in what people will think, say, feel about my life that I forget that my ultimate goal for me is peace and happiness, so fear and resentment stick around a little longer–actually as long as I allow it to stay, it does.

In my life, “supposed” ; it’s such an ugly word. I held on so tight to the lie of what my life was “supposed” to be (false perceptions handed down by family, friends, peers, society), that I didn’t realize that all I had to do was let go of “supposed” to reveal the truth that was already there whether I like it or not. Continue reading

The Ultimate Guide to Finding Your Soul-Mate, Part I

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The Get Free, Get Happy Series: Episode 4.0

How could I ever write a series about happiness, without touching on the subject relationship? I could actually create a major motion picture on all the ways that my failed expectations of friends, mates and potential partners have affected my level of happiness in my 31 years of life. And I can’t say that I have it all figured out; but what I can say is that there are universal rules to this game called life, and who we attract is always going to have something to do with who we are.

I think we all understand this concept, regardless of whether or not we conceptualize it. For women, we spent tons of money on beauty products, countless hours to get shiny and appear brand new, tans, waxes, nip this and tuck that–and not to mention fitness fads and diet fixes. Men do it, too. We all go to great lengths to look great and fit the part of partner for our soul mate (if we believe in that sort of thing), or even to attract friends. Most adults that I know complain often about lack of meaningful connections, and some of us have given up all hope.

What do you think? Are our efforts to reel in our soul mate are coming from the right place?

I will leave you with this definition for today.

soul: the principle of life, feeling, thought and action in humans, regarded as a distinct entity seperate from the body, and commonly held to be separable in existance from the body; the spiritual part of humans as distinct from the physical part.

Tune in tomorrow for Part II:-)


Freestyle Friday: The Freaky Edition, Featuring My Top 10 Sexiest Videos

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Shakira (left) and Knowles (right) in the musi...

Image via Wikipedia

Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.  ~Author Unknown

Again, I want to keep Friday’s short and sweet around here. So, today I want to share with you a very interesting articled that I found on Webmd.com. There was a study done that proved that sex “enters so strongly (and) positively in happiness equations” that they estimate increasing intercourse from once a month to once a week is equivalent to the amount of happiness generated by getting an additional $50,000 in income for the average American “; and, Overall, the happiest folks are those getting the most sex — married people, who report 30% more between-the-sheets action than single folks. In fact, the economists calculate that a lasting marriage equates to happiness generated by getting an extra $100,000 each year. Divorce, meanwhile, translates to a happiness depletion of $66,000 annually (Dartmouth College economist David Blanchflower and Andrew Oswald of the University of Warwick in England).

Way to stay happy!!! I hope I just confirmed some weekend plans for some of you:-)

Here’s the article: Sex Better Than Money for Happiness

Coach Dee’s Top 10 Sexiest Video’s (in no particular order. Drum-roll please!):

  1. Rock the Cradle of Love, Billy Idol: O.K., so, because I love this song so much, I refuse to believe it’s about underaged girls. Billy was like 50 in this video, rocking the cradle could have been 35, lol.
  2. Flashing Lights, Kanye West: The message in this video is to not ignore your gf. She gets mad, lol!
  3. Justify My Love, Madonna: I used to sneak and watch this video when I was younger. I don’t think I knew why it was so bad, I just knew it was forbidden. Nothing says sexy like TABOO!
  4. Divinyls, Touch Myself: Here’s to Monogamy!
  5. Simply Irresistible, Robert Palmer: Simplicity is sexy, too.
  6. Within You, Final Scene From the Labyrinth, David Bowie: I’m not really sure why a man in tights is sexy, but there was something about the intensity of this scene that I love.
  7. Forrest Scene from Twilight: So who said these were gonna be all music videos? Again, it’s the intensity! TEAM EDWARD, BABY!!!
  8. Beautiful Liar, Shakira and Beyonce: This video needs to words.
  9. Maniac Scene, Jennifer Beale Dance Scene from Flashdance: Here’s to passion, leg warmers and body doubles!!!
  10. How Does it Feel, D’Angelo: Well, the Prince like falsetto, the eye sex that he’s giving, the fact that he obviously had his body waxed to give us sexy are all reasons why this video is wonderful. You get a A+ for this one D (we miss you)!

Honorable Mention: How Does it Feel parody from the Jamie Foxx Show; Why? Because laughter and silliness is sexy!

So what would you add to the list? Comment Below.

my (former) secret

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i’m big
strong
unmoved
steady
stout
a sista’ is serious!


i live in a place where people leave
never stay
never get too comfortable
and i say
i like it this way.


i
look both ways
to make sure it is safe
to say
that i love you…


i don’t let on but…


it is you that makes me soft
i spread smooth because of you
i am like coltrane
like summer breeze followed by a gentle rain
you’re my nourishment and
i love to kiss your face.

deidre l. knight, 2007

I’m still a bit skeptical about mixing my personal, with my business–which is life coaching, however I feel that my client will benefit from knowing where I have been, and what I have overcome.

When I wrote this poem I was 360lbs. I didn’t think anyone would see a “fat” girl as worthy of good things. I thought I had to settle. I thought I was afraid of love, because the love I knew hurt. I didn’t think it was possible to be happy, and in love; It was an oxymoron, to me. So, instead of allowing myself to be happy in love. I welcomed the pain that accompanied what I thought love was.

And while, I don’t believe love is easy–I don’t believe it is impossible to in a healthy, loving relationship. I no longer take abuse, in order to be loved.

I changed my mind about love, and everything else fell into place. When I’m hurting, I don’t associate that hurt with love. Whatever love is to you, it will be.

What do you think love is?