It’s almost 5 am, and instead of sleeping, I’m up writing. In search of a little inspiration, I found myself, where else? FACEBOOK, of course. I truly believe that nothing happens by chance, so it’s no surprise that Jillian Michaels (Biggest Loser), posted this wonderful article that made me want to go write. It was so great that I couldn’t wait until the morning to share it. It’s great news for a hopeless romantic, love pusher like me.
I can’t say that I have it all figured out; but what I can say is that there are universal rules to this game called life, and who we attract is always going to have something to do with who we are. I think we all understand this concept, whether or not we conceptualize it. For women, we spent tons of money on beauty products, countless hours to get shiny and appear brand new, tans, waxes, nip this and tuck that–and not to mention fitness fads and diet fixes. Men do it, too. We all go to great lengths to look great and fit the part of partner for our soul mate (if we believe in that sort of thing), or even to attract friends. Most adults that I know complain often about lack of meaningful connections, and some of us have given up all hope.What do you think about soulmates? Are you searching and are your efforts to reel in your soul-mate are coming from the right place?
Here’s something to ponder on…
Why the heck do tattoos have to hurt so bad? “Well Genius, ” I bet you are saying, “you’re getting a bunch of needles, duh!” But hey, listen, it’s not just the tattooing part. It’s finding a way to sleep comfortably by not putting pressure on the part that now pains you, it’s showering and not accidentally letting hot water hit it directly, its people slapping you on your arm not knowing that you are aching. And then, finally, there’s the annoying itch that lets you know that you are healing. There’s this entire healing process that you go through, and while some handle it better than others, but healing is a must and it happens if you’re healthy.
So, I got this tattoo last week. A pretty bird to memorialize a friend, “Bubby”, that I lost on Christmas Eve, last year. See?
Shhhh…do you hear that? I guess you don’t, because it’s just me here (well, me and Ameerah and Noah, the kitties-slash-kiddies).
The TV is off. No music. No phone. If I listen with my heart and not my ears, there is certainly something to be heard. Trust me, it’s true. Go ahead and try it, take some time and cut off all of your distractions. Do it in the middle of the day, when you are most alert. Listen…What do you hear?
Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~Author Unknown
Again, I want to keep Friday’s short and sweet around here. So, today I want to share with you a very interesting articled that I found on Webmd.com. There was a study done that proved that sex “enters so strongly (and) positively in happiness equations” that they estimate increasing intercourse from once a month to once a week is equivalent to the amount of happiness generated by getting an additional $50,000 in income for the average American “; and, Overall, the happiest folks are those getting the most sex — married people, who report 30% more between-the-sheets action than single folks. In fact, the economists calculate that a lasting marriage equates to happiness generated by getting an extra $100,000 each year. Divorce, meanwhile, translates to a happiness depletion of $66,000 annually (Dartmouth College economist David Blanchflower and Andrew Oswald of the University of Warwick in England).
Way to stay happy!!! I hope I just confirmed some weekend plans for some of you:-)
Here’s the article: Sex Better Than Money for Happiness
Coach Dee’s Top 10 Sexiest Video’s (in no particular order. Drum-roll please!):
- Rock the Cradle of Love, Billy Idol: O.K., so, because I love this song so much, I refuse to believe it’s about underaged girls. Billy was like 50 in this video, rocking the cradle could have been 35, lol.
- Flashing Lights, Kanye West: The message in this video is to not ignore your gf. She gets mad, lol!
- Justify My Love, Madonna: I used to sneak and watch this video when I was younger. I don’t think I knew why it was so bad, I just knew it was forbidden. Nothing says sexy like TABOO!
- Divinyls, Touch Myself: Here’s to Monogamy!
- Simply Irresistible, Robert Palmer: Simplicity is sexy, too.
- Within You, Final Scene From the Labyrinth, David Bowie: I’m not really sure why a man in tights is sexy, but there was something about the intensity of this scene that I love.
- Forrest Scene from Twilight: So who said these were gonna be all music videos? Again, it’s the intensity! TEAM EDWARD, BABY!!!
- Beautiful Liar, Shakira and Beyonce: This video needs to words.
- Maniac Scene, Jennifer Beale Dance Scene from Flashdance: Here’s to passion, leg warmers and body doubles!!!
- How Does it Feel, D’Angelo: Well, the Prince like falsetto, the eye sex that he’s giving, the fact that he obviously had his body waxed to give us sexy are all reasons why this video is wonderful. You get a A+ for this one D (we miss you)!
Honorable Mention: How Does it Feel parody from the Jamie Foxx Show; Why? Because laughter and silliness is sexy!
So what would you add to the list? Comment Below.
- On Being a Shameless Woman: It’s About Letting Go Of The Old Rules! (psychologytoday.com)
- The Sexy Satin Dollz: Whatever Lola Wants (current.com)
As good parents, I feel that you have to allow children to make mistakes, in order for them to learn. Example:
‘Baby’ is learning to walk. ‘Baby’ takes two steps and falls, PLOP! Mommy/Daddy says, “Awwww, that’s ok. Get up.” ‘Baby’ looks up at the “big, goofy” people with smiles of admiration. “Wow,” Baby thinks, “All this and all I did was try?”, so ‘Baby gets up and tries again. ‘Big‘ and ‘Goofy’ stand about three feet away, close, with arms outstretched for ‘Baby’ to fall into them and their embrace, if needed (and the truth is, they expect it. They know, in all of their big-goofiness, that there is a process of succeeding, and it’s rare to reach it without falling). The parents even celebrate the smallest of efforts, even when Baby doesn’t do anything but rock back and forth, trying to get their little legs to do what their young minds are envisioning, “YAYYYY!!!!”, they yell, clapping, even if ‘Baby’ takes only two steps. ‘Baby’ looks up in awe of how loving ‘Big’ and ‘Goofy’ are, and soon ‘Baby’ is clapping and “yayyy-ing”, too!
With all this encouragement, and a process of practice, many tries and many failures–Baby can now walk!
As adults, we are sent out to live on our own, to live our own life, most of us with a set of instructions: “pay bills, work, eat, sleep, pray, don’t drive drunk, protect yourself, cook, clean, etc.” We leave our youth behind, as well as the desires of our youth. With no parents some of us go wild, others don’t, but for most of us we forget that there are steps that we have to take to fully embrace and walk through our lives. And while we aren’t children anymore, we are all Someone’s child (children of The Creator) and the need for nurturing never goes away, it just shows up in different ways (discouragement, low-self esteem, tears, loneliness). It will always give us confidence and courage to walk a little more steady the next-go-round. And it becomes our responsibility.
Like loving an coddling parents, we have to embrace our short-comings, open ourselves up allow ourselves a warm place to hide if we should ever fall and bruise ourselves. Tell ourselves, “it’s ok, sweetie! you’ll do better next time.” We have to give ourselves credit for trying, and give ourselves the option of being tired and allow us some time to rest, pray for guidance, observe and meditate and breathe before we go at our goals again. Just because we didn’t get the walk right the first, second or fifteenth time, doesn’t mean our try was a failure; “There is a blessing in every lesson” (‘The Truth’, India.Arie);We have to forgive ourselves for being human, just as our Creators does daily.
And might I suggest that this stroking and understanding go on outside of yourself? Nope, not in your head. Be “big and goofy!” Talk to yourself in a calming, reassuring tone, just as you would a child. Stand in the mirror, and look at you as you would look at someone else that you care about–Talk aloud the next time find yourself beating yourself up about how you could’ve done things differently. Tell yourself how much you love yourself, talk to yourself about all the good things that you’ve achieved, and all the good things that you are made up of. Caress yourself! Go ahead, do it–doesn’t that feel good? Give yourself credit for the small stuff–the baby steps. Even if you don’t believe it at first, entirely, convince yourself! Do you see how confident you become, when you don’t focus on what you perceive as your failure (in life and love)?
Just as if you were a baby, learning the steps, say to yourself, “”Awwww, that’s ok. Get up.” Try again when you’re ready. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t get discouraged!
Baby yourself! Self-Nurturing is one of the key elements of loving you.
And when you finally get it right. Celebrate with yourself, with yourself! Love yourself up! You deserve it!
i live in a place where people leave
never get too comfortable
and i say
i like it this way.
i look both ways
to make sure it is safe
that i love you…
i don’t let on but…
it is you that makes me soft
i spread smooth because of you
i am like coltrane
like summer breeze followed by a gentle rain
you’re my nourishment and
i love to kiss your face.
deidre l. knight, 2007
When I wrote this poem I was 360lbs. I didn’t think anyone would see a “fat” girl as worthy of good things. I thought I had to settle. I thought I was afraid of love, because the love I knew hurt. I didn’t think it was possible to be happy, and in love; It was an oxymoron, to me. So, instead of allowing myself to be happy in love. I welcomed the pain that accompanied what I thought love was.
And while, I don’t believe love is easy–I don’t believe it is impossible to in a healthy, loving relationship. I no longer take abuse, in order to be loved.
I changed my mind about love, and everything else fell into place. When I’m hurting, I don’t associate that hurt with love. Whatever love is to you, it will be.
What do you think love is?