Freestyle Friday!

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This photo shows the place where the rainbow r...

The Mind, where the rainbow ends and begins...

I decided to make Friday my designated freestyle day. Short and sweet, not much thought involved. Maybe it wont have anything to do with coaching at all, and perhaps it will give my clients a glimpse of the real Dee:-)

Attended an Apple Employment Seminar yesterday. It was great! I want something part-time, and the company and products are amazing–I’m sure you know that…

While there, we did a lot of  group exercises. I heard a “grandmother quote” that I never heard before: “If you can lean, you can clean.” Meaning, if you have down time, you could be doing something more productive–like cleaning.

And it got me to thinking about all the time I spend thinking–and over thinking (yes, I was thinking about thinking–that’s just the kinda girl I am, lol). I think a lot. I try my best to get a hold of negative thoughts, but they come, more often, though, I’m thinking about ways to be productive; Thinking of ways to grow; Thinking of things to share with a client; I’m thinking thinking of better ways to live, to love myself to love God, to love my partner, my parents, my friends; Ironically, I think more when I have time to rest. Doesn’t my mind deserve to rest, too?

So this weekend, I plan to rest. I’m going to clean out my mind; Thoughts are going to come, but I’m going to clean mind of clutter and anything that needs to be put away–(until another season in my life)–that’s going into some mental file, for a more proper time; Any negative thoughts–lies–are being put in the spiritual-circular-file. This weekend, I’m going on a mental retreat–leaning and cleaning…

Have a good weekend friends!

Also, I just saw a trailer for the new Tyler Perry movie–N’tozake Shange’s “For Colored Girls When the Rainbow is Enuf”, starring Janet Jackson, Loretta Devnie, Phylicia Rashad and Kerri Washington. It doesn’t matter what color of the rainbow you are–I have read and re-read this book maybe a hundred times. It’s pretty, painful and poetic. Can’t wait!

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my (former) secret

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i’m big
strong
unmoved
steady
stout
a sista’ is serious!


i live in a place where people leave
never stay
never get too comfortable
and i say
i like it this way.


i
look both ways
to make sure it is safe
to say
that i love you…


i don’t let on but…


it is you that makes me soft
i spread smooth because of you
i am like coltrane
like summer breeze followed by a gentle rain
you’re my nourishment and
i love to kiss your face.

deidre l. knight, 2007

I’m still a bit skeptical about mixing my personal, with my business–which is life coaching, however I feel that my client will benefit from knowing where I have been, and what I have overcome.

When I wrote this poem I was 360lbs. I didn’t think anyone would see a “fat” girl as worthy of good things. I thought I had to settle. I thought I was afraid of love, because the love I knew hurt. I didn’t think it was possible to be happy, and in love; It was an oxymoron, to me. So, instead of allowing myself to be happy in love. I welcomed the pain that accompanied what I thought love was.

And while, I don’t believe love is easy–I don’t believe it is impossible to in a healthy, loving relationship. I no longer take abuse, in order to be loved.

I changed my mind about love, and everything else fell into place. When I’m hurting, I don’t associate that hurt with love. Whatever love is to you, it will be.

What do you think love is?